December 21, 2012
by BananaBabe903
Summary: A very unfortunate accident leaves Rosalie in Jacob's body, and Jacob in Rosalie's. Blame a new vampire with amazing powers. Can they find a way to get back in their normal bodies before anybody finds out, or less before they fall for each other?
1. Becoming You

**A/N: Please read and review! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

**Dedicated: to my friend Sam, who absolutely hates ANY ship that's not Bella/Edward. She especially hates Rosalie/Jacob. Well, this will yank ur teeth out. :)  
**

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Rosalie's POV

The last person I would trust in the whole world was Jacob freakin' Black. Do you know why? Well, on the first hand, he's stupid, two, he's just a pretty boy who can transform into a wolf, and third, he was dating my niece. So of course, seeing his moronic, handsome little face at six in the morning would not ever, ever, _ever_--make my day.

"Jacob's here," Bella called from the kitchen, writing things down in a spiral pink notebook Esme got her for Christmas.

Thanks Bella, for that wonderful opportunity to tell me something I dreaded hearing every Sunday morning.

Alice scrunched up her nose. "Eww, so _that's _what I smelled," she moaned, pinching her nose bridge. I rolled my eyes in agreement with her on the couch in the living room.

As soon as Alice said that, Mutt entered our house. "Hello Blondie," he gave me his usual greeting. He paused for a second and then asked, "Hey, where's Edward?"

"Saving some nomads from execution in Italy," explained Bella, entering from the kitchen. "He insisted in going alone." She pouted slightly and I couldn't help but rolling my eyes again.

Bella was _sooo _in love with him. I wonder how it felt to be _that _grossly in love. Like with Emmett, I felt calm and relaxed, like a drizzle of rain was pouring on me, except my hair wasn't getting frizzy.

"Hey Rose, did you hear about the blonde that went to college?"

Yeah, Jacob set my nice drizzle of rain on _fire_. When I was around him all hell broke loose and fire raged and burned trees of patience and relaxation, he the gasoline in the wild fire of my mind.

Another way to put it was: hate.

Suddenly (but not unexpectedly), Renesmee busted through the front doors with some redhead chick I've never seen before.

"Hello, dear family," greeted Renesmee, who then wagged her eyebrows. "_Jacob_," she then giggled. She turned her attention back to us. "_This_, is Donna. She's one of us."

"Hi," the girl waved. "My family was searching relocation, but I guess since you're here, we'll be gone by tonight."

Aw, what a down-to-earth girl! What the heck was she doing with Nessie?

"Mm, _Jake_." I spun my head and focused my attention to Jacob and Ness, who were lustfully kissing, Nessie running her fingers through Jacob's fur-like hair.

"Eww, mutt—hands off my niece until I leave the room," I snapped. Jacob and Nessie broke free from each other.

"Then leave," Jacob coolly retorted.

"This is _my _house dog," I reminded him.

"Hmm, you guys seem to get along well," Donna observed, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You have _no _idea," interjected Alice, returning from upstairs with Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper. Wow. I didn't even notice they had left.

Donna introduced herself and Carlisle said, "Don't worry, Donna. You and your family can stay as long as you like."

"That's very nice of you, Mr. Cullen, but we should go anyway. I gotta go." She was about to leave when she looked at me and Jacob.

"There might be some… _changes_. You have fun." She waved goodbye and jogged out the door.

Um… okay…?

Jacob then rubbed his forehead like he had a headache. "I gotta go. Seth is yapping on about something," he groaned. "See ya." He pecked Ness on the cheek and waved to the rest of us, and then left.

"Thank God," I muttered. And then I went upstairs to relax myself with some Beethoven. Oh, and I took my drizzling rain water with me.

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Jacob's POV

Well, something was very, very wrong. I had fallen asleep in the forest, not too far away from La Push borderlines where Seth and Leah had been patrolling, when all of a sudden I was on the floor.

Of the Cullen's living room.

I got up and stretched. I was in human form. This was _definitely _weird. Did Blondie drug me and drag me to her house so she could chop my head off? No, no...I walked over to the kitchen in hopes of getting something to eat--if these leeches _had _anything to eat in their fancy-schmancy house. I heard Alice and Jasper chatting upstairs, and heard Carlisle and Esme vacuuming. Bella was singing along to some Lady GaGa song, and Renesmee was brushing her long hair.

Ah, Nessie.

I walked over to the refrigerator and opened it up. Ah, so the leeches _did _have food--maybe for when Charlie or us wolves came over. I grabbed a slice of ham and gobbled it up--

... to then spit it out.

Yuck! It tasted _horrible_! Man, when did this expire??? I flipped the package around and saw the expiration date. Nope, I had another month or so. This was getting _weird_...

"Rosalie?" I heard Alice's voice from behind me. Oh crap, pixie-chick found me. I was going to get in trouble for raiding their kitchen. She was already getting Rosalie to flog me or something.

But when I saw Alice, she wasn't turning her head or anything. She was looking straight at me.

"Um, Alice?" I asked, expecting my voice to be manly and strong, like it usually was. But it wasn't. It was light, and soprano and sounded like chiming bells. I looked down at myself, and I was wearing a black mini-dress and black Juicy Couture ballet flats.

Whoa, I knew what type of shoes they were? Something was _wrong_. I moved my hand to the top of my head, and stroked blonde locks that caressed my shoulders and upper back.

Oh my God. I gulped.

"Uhh, Alice? I need to see Ro--err, _Jacob_. Like, _now_."

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	2. Agree on Disagreeing

**Thanks to those of you who just reviewed! :) Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. This story was inspired by reddwarfaddict's story "Miss Doctor Mr Rose".  
**

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Rosalie's POV

I reopened my eyes to feel stiff. Ow. I couldn't have been sleeping, could I? I got up, rubbing my eyes. I looked around and saw that I was in a forest… and on top of that, I felt very warm.

Too warm.

I got up and stretched. My back cracked. Uh, eww…? I looked down and saw that I had no shirt on. Only weird boxer-short-like-things. And I had very tan skin. And my hair… oh my God, where are my beautiful locks?

I spun in a circle, trying to see the back of my hair. I ran as fast as I could (which wasn't that fast) to a river, hoping what I thought had happened did not. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw…

Jacob.

I let out a scream, which came out more low-pitched than I had imagined. Jacob screamed too, and had a horrified look on his face. No, no, _NO!_

Suddenly, I smelt the most horrendous stench _ever… _

And it wasn't me. Well, actually it _was _me, but it wasn't the smell I had been expecting. I, well, what _looked _like I was supposed to emerged from the forest, skidding back and forth, tripping over several branches.

In my best ballet flats.

"Jacob!" I screeched. Hopefully, I was talking to him. I put my hand on my hip. "What the _hell _happened?"

He, well, _I _cringed. "I don't, um, know…" he muttered in my high-pitched voice. He stepped back. "Umm, can you, put your hand off of your hip? It looks kinda gay on me…"

I rolled my eyes. "Puh-leeze. I will look as gay as I want." Wait, that didn't come out right…

"What do we do?" asked Jacob, voice still quiet.

"You're asking _me_!" I cried. "What do I do?"

"I don't know!" he started crying. "I don't know! Shut up, already! I can't take this any more!" and then his jaw dropped and I started laughing.

"You're getting mood swings!" I sang.

"Am not!" he retorted.

I tried walking towards him and then stopped. It felt weird to walk… it felt… oh my God.

"I have something in my pants!" I yelled.

"How do you think I feel? I have _nothing _in my pants!" he screamed back. "And look, I've got, I've got… _these_!" he looked down at his, well, _my_ chest.

"Don't think about _anything_, you disgusting little pervert!" I retorted. I rolled my eyes. "And stop standing like that, you look like a man."

"I _am _a man!" Jacob snapped.

"Yeah, a man in _ballet flats. _Juicy, may I add," I scoffed.

"Well, no one can find out," wailed Jacob. "They won't believe us, and Renesmee will slap me to bits."

"I agree. Well, now we have to teach each other how to _be _each other," I confirmed.

"Oh, I can be you. 'Hey, everyone look at me, I'm Rosalie, Miss Perfect. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days, except for me! Get out of my way mutt'!" he deadpanned.

I attempted to flip my hair, but nothing was there. I lifted my chin upwards, and put my hand on my hip, the most flamboyant look I could pull off.

"Fine!" he groaned, stomping his foot. "Ugh! Stupid leech!"

"Hey, _you're _the leech now," I laughed. "Haha, no more stupid blood for me! Deer and antelope, here I come!" I paraded away from him.

"Well, first, we have to change. I can't learn how to be you in this ridiculous _costume_," Jacob argued.

"Whoa, we also might want to _shower_, first, mutt. I can't smell like _this _and parade all around the Cullen house, can I?" I snapped back.

"'Kay, let's make a deal—you don't look down and neither do I, deal?"

"Deal."

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	3. Don't Look Down

**Please read and review!!! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight  
**

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Jacob's POV

I had to admit, Blondie had it _waaayyy _easier. I mean, those things were right in front of me! If I just even lowered my chin they were _right there_! I mean, she would have to lower her entire head and _then _they were there!

I closed my eyes while rubbing some fruity-smelling shampoo into my hair. She had a _lot _of hair. I mean, seriously, that whole yellow thing went practically down to her butt… not that I looked or anything…

I had imagined what "they" looked like a few times, the perverted side of me and whatnot, but I never thought I'd have an opportunity to see "them" like _this_.

Well, not in the same context.

The temptation was deafening—I felt like a thousand drums were just playing in my head.

_Look at them… look at them… _the voices in my head sang.

Okay, I was officially losing it.

I pushed the perverted thoughts out of my head and thought of the more important stuff—how was I going to explain this to Renesmee? How could I act like I was in love with Emmett? How did I even get stuck in this body? Did that redhead leech do this?

I was lost in my thoughts, so when the showerhead came lose and fell down and smacked the wall, I didn't even see it coming. "Ow!" it hit my head and I bent down to pick it up and…

"AHHHH!" I screamed. I shielded my eyes. Oh my God, I didn't… I swear…

I suddenly hear a rapping on the bathroom door.

"Rose, you okay?" Bella's voice came.

"Yeah, fine. Just got shocked, by um, the showerhead," I replied, trying to keep my voice calm.

"'Kay." I heard Bella run back down the stairs.

Oh my God… I _looked_. I didn't even _try _to and I _looked_… oh my God, Rosalie was going to _kill _me…

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Rosalie's POV

When Mutt got out of the shower, he had a really suspicious look on his face.

"You didn't look, did you?"

"Nope." He ran off in his bathrobe to my bedroom to change.

He looked.

"Dammit," I swore under my breath. "Jacob Black, when I get back in my proper body, I swear, I will sink my teeth into your neck and you will _die_." Hopefully, only he and no one else could hear me.

I took off the shorts and stepped into the shower. This was hard, not looking down. It was so… _tempting_. I could do this… Rosalie Hale-Cullen was strong… she could do this…

_I _could do this… I will win… I can do this… Breathe… in… and out… I am a winner… In… and out…

"Hey, Mutt, I don't wanna come in there, but can you pass me the bar of soap so I can shower in the other one?" Emmett's voice came in.

"Uh, sure… man," I replied, trying to sound like Jacob. "Err… leech. Coming." I wrapped a towel around my lower half and took out the bar of soap underneath the cabinet. I opened the door a crack and handed it to Emmett, who was shielding his eyes.

"Thanks, dude."

"No problem, uh, _dude_." In Jacob's body, I felt no sparks when I saw Emmett. It was complete torture not being in love with him.

I was walking back to the shower when I slipped on some water Jacob had left behind, the towel flying off my body.

Oh my God. I shut my eyes and bit my lip so I wouldn't see it again.

I only say It for a split second, but God, is was _HUGE_! Like, was the wolf genes frickin' steroids or something???

I turned off the water, wrapped the towel around me, and began running back to the guest room where I sometimes stayed when Jacob called my name, well, _his _name.

"Jacob…" he whispered. "Pssst… come here." I walked over.

"_What_?"

"Icnthukmuhbrhstrp." Jacob muttered, looking down. I then noticed only his head was peaking out of the door.

"What?"

"Icanthckmuhbrhstrap."

"_What?_"

"I can't hook my bra strap!" he wailed. "Help! The hookie-thingies won't work!" he looked on the verge of tears. I suddenly noticed how beautiful he, well, I looked. In this body, I looked _beautiful_. Well, this isn't an ego thing or anything, but I noticed how I lusted after myself. My big, golden eyes looked beautiful and my big, red, juicy lips, I just wanted to kiss them and never let go, and, oh my God, my hair…

"Ugh!" I let out a huff of anger. "_Fine_." I followed him into my bedroom.

He closed his eyes as I wrapped the purple bra around him and I hooked it in the back.

"Done," I said. "Now, go be a good dog and finish the rest yourself." I then exited the room.

I walked back to his guest room and pulled on boxers, and then shorts.

"Done," I said, quite satisfied with myself. I also threw on a white t-shirt just in case or something.

I met Jacob in the hallway. I tried not to make eye contact so I wouldn't end up kissing myself.

"Did you…?" he asked, voice trailing off. I shook my head.

"Nope," I lied, hoping my face looked truthful. He cocked his head for a moment, and then breathed.

"Good," he said, relaxing.

"Did you…?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

His face blushed and a look of panic struck his face. "Umm…"

_SMACK! _I smacked him in the face. And then I heard a gasp from ten feet away. Jacob and I slowly turned our heads to see Nessie in the hallway, a look of shock on her face.

"Jake! Did you just _slap Rosalie?_"

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Jacob's POV

Crap.

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**Please review! :)**


	4. Makes Me Wanna Cry

**Last chap!!! :) Didn't know how to end it, so sorry if it sounds stiff or anything...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.  
**

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Rosalie's POV

Crap. I'm being interrogated by my _niece _whom I'm supposed to be in _love _with in some stinky mutt's body!

"Err, we're role-playing, Ness," I said, searching my head for an idea. "We're trying to act like each other to sort of be in each other's shoes." Nessie cocked her head, sort of believing it. Good. She turned to Rosalie.

"Rosie, are you okay?" Nessie asked, tenderly. From what I could tell she was doing this to see whether Jake would act like Rosalie or not… or if something deeper could be going on.

Jacob scowled. "Psh, I'd be better if that stupid mutt was out of my _life_," he snapped.

Ooh, the mutt knows me. Nessie relaxed and turned back to Jacob, err, _me_. "Well Jakey, I don't appreciate you slapping my aunt. Even though you're role-playing." She got closer to me. Too close. "Okay?" she pouted her lip and I guess she was trying to be sexy or something, but even in Jacob's body I was immune to it.

"Yeah," I said, backing off. "Uhh, I gotta go. See you guys later." I ran off.

Crap, crap, crap, CRAP! Why does all the _weird _stuff happen to me????

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Jacob's POV

Renesmee faced me, tapping her foot. "Something wrong with Jakey?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No, I don't—I mean, err, where do I begin?" The last part came out higher than I expected, displaying how unsure I was.

Nessie cocked her head. In Rosalie's body I felt nothing towards her… it felt weird not to love your lover.

"Anyway, Ness, I gotta go. See ya." I gave her a quick, awkward wave and ran off to find Jacob—err, _Rosalie_. I found her in the woods.

God, I looked hot. Like, amazing. Like I wanted to go over there and plant my lips on my own… this was getting weird…

"We have to tell Nessie!" I demanded, wiping the thought of making out with myself uot of my brain.

"No!" Rosalie snapped back. "She's going to get all catty and think that I looked!"

"Well, did you…???"

"No!" Rosalie cried, blushing red.

I gasped in mock-horror. "Rosalie Hale, you are _such _a bad liar," I teased, rolling my eyes. Suddenly, my super keen senses picked something up. "Nessie's coming! I'm gonna hide!" I ran off, hoping that Rosalie would tell me the details later.

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Rosalie's POV

After Jacob ran off, Nessie began interrogating me. "Why'd you run off, Jakey?" she pouted. "Y'know, my friend Donna's back in town. She wanted to see Rosalie again."

My ears perked. "Really? Is she here?" I asked.

Nessie nodded her head. "Yeah, she's back at the house."

"SHE'S BACK AT THE HOUSE???" I loudly repeated, hoping that Jacob could hear me. "YOU MEAN DONNA, YOUR COOL-VAMPIRE FRIEND WHO MIGHT HAVE MAGICAL POWERS???"

Nessie plugged her ears and scowled, "Yeah, Gawd, Jake, you don't need to frickin' yell. Now let's go back to the house and see her."

And we did.

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Jacob's POV

After I heard Rosalie (she honestly didn't need to shout that loud) I ran back to the house to see that Rosalie and Ness were already there with Donna.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," I said, apologetic. "I was out shopping—oh hey, Donna. I thought you left town."

Donna looked at me and Rosalie, nervously. "Err, yeah, but I wanted to see how you guys were doing…" her voice trailed off.

Dammit that blood-sucking leech for putting me in _another _blood-sucking leech's body.

"Wait, I'm going to go get you something really quick!" Nessie cried. "Let me just run back into town. I'll be back in five." She looked at me and Rosalie. "Be good!" and she ran out of the house. I waited exactly 7.3 seconds until Rosalie and I both faced Donna with accusing eyes.

"Change us back!" growled Rosalie. "I can't be a stinky mutt forever!"

I looked at her in disbelief. "You think _you _have it bad??? At least you're in a hot body with washboard abs! I'm stuck in this petite blonde thing!" I cried back.

Rosalie glared daggers at me. "Ex-_cuse _me?" she snapped. "My body is _plenty _hot--,"

"I know." I threw my hands over my mouth. Why in the world did I say that???

Rosalie's eyes softened. "Uhh, thanks," she stuttered, voice less hostile. "You know, I really didn't mean it. Being you, well, isn't so bad…" she got closer to me. I could smell her minty breath. It was beautifully intoxicating.

I got closer to her. "Really?"

"Yeah…" before I knew it, my lips were on hers and we were fully making out in the middle of everything. I felt my hands run through my own hair and my arms wrapped around me, tight.

Suddenly I felt the strangest feeling, like something inside of me was bubbling… I opened my eyes and said, "That was… whoa. My voice!" I looked down at myself. I was ME!!! I was JACOB EPHRIGAM BLACK!!!

"I'm back!" Rosalie cried, looking down at her own beautiful chest. "I'm back!" she turned to Donna. "We had to learn to love, didn't we? That's how the 'curse' was broken!" she sounded ecstatic.

I thought Donna would be happy too, but she actually looked uncomfortable. "Uhh, Rosalie, Jacob… you might wanna--,"

"Jacob Black and Rosalie frickin' Hale, WHAT THE HELL???" We spun around and came face-to-face with a very angry, dazed, confused, but mostly angry, Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

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Rosalie's POV

Crap.

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**The END!!! :) I didn't know how to end it, so that's how I did! :) Please review!!!**


	5. Rewound

**Okay, this is the final chap! Sorry, last time I lied... I just wasn't too fond of the ending. :) Anyway, I might add an Epilogue, but for now, please review!**

**Disclaimer: Check out the previous chaps**

**PS--Check out another Rosalie/Jacob story (this less humorous and more angsty) that I wrote called "Beauty and the Beast". :) That will be a much longer story, and I gave up on this story so I could work harder on that. :)  
**

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Rosalie's POV

This automatically sucked. It sucked more than sucking could suck. As if sucking blood wasn't sucky enough even for this sucky situation. Ughhhh!!! I wanted to close my eyes and count to ten like my human mom told me to do when I was, well, _human_. I wanted to die, burn up in ashes, each beautiful piece of me in little, little, little tiny pieces all thrown in fires and... this is getting redundant, isn't it?

Long-story short, I wanted to be dead. And from the look on Renesmee's face, we, as in Jacob and I, were going to die. Slowly and painfully.

Donna cleared her throat and whispered, "Let this all be over, the beast and the blonde, let there be no harm, for things have changed, they've learned to love, let this be erased, let this be erased---," Suddenly, a white flash hit my pupils and before I knew it, I was back in the living room.

"Jacob's here," Bella called from the kitchen, writing things down in a spiral pink notebook Esme got her for Christmas.

Alice scrunched up her nose. "Eww, so _that's _what I smelled," she moaned, pinching her nose bridge.

Whoa. Major case of de ja vu.

At that exact moment, Jacob Black entered the house. He looked surprised. "Uhh, hi Bella, Alice, Rosalie. Is Renesmee here?" he glanced around nervously. Alice left to take some Tylenol and Bella cocked her head, sensing that Jacob was tense.

"Everything all right, Jake?" asked Bella. "Did something happen?" Jacob and I exchanged looks, both of us somewhat relieved and freaked out all in a huge bundle of emotional mess... and love was somewhere in there too.

I sighed and said, "Oh, you don't know the half of it."

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